Monday, April 6, 2009

If you are easily offended, don't read my blog today.

This is a post for me. Just me. A way to get frustration out and to feel better...sort of. This probably wouldn't be as negative if Kyle didn't tell me what we had to pay in taxes this year. Let me tell you how grateful I am for a husband who worked his @#$ off for a Bachelors, a Masters and and a Law Degree, which by the way we have the student loans to prove. However, I guess this is what happens when you starting making money. You can't deduct hardly ANYTHING because supposedly you make "too much", and you pay out the wazoo. Fun times. Maybe we should go back to making no money, getting as many benefits as the government allows and getting a big tax return. Seriously, what incentive is there to work hard? Thank you Uncle Sam for kicking me right in the #$@. I really appreciate it. And thanks for bailing out those people who sit on their @%$ and do nothing. I am glad to know that the there is still the American dream for lazy people.

Here is a poem that expresses my frustration to a degree. Yes, I am going to hell in a hand basket, but at least I edited out the bad word. By the way, it begins with S and ends in T.

  • You can be **** faced, **** out of luck or have **** for brains.
  • With a little effort, you can get your **** together, find a place for your ****, or decide to **** or get off the pot.
  • You can smoke ****, buy ****, sell ****, lose ****, find ****, forget ****, and tell others to eat **** and die.
  • Some people know their **** while others can't tell the difference between **** and shineola.
  • There are lucky ****s, dumb ****s, crazy ****s, and sweet ****s.
  • There is bull****, horse **** and chicken ****.
  • You can throw ****, sling ****, catch ****, shoot the ****, or duck when **** hits the fan.
  • You can give a **** or serve **** on a shingle.
  • You can find yourself in deep **** or be happier than a pig in ****.
  • Some days are colder than ****, some days are hotter than ****, and some days are just plain ****ty.
  • Some music sounds like ****, things can look like ****, and there are times when you feel like ****.
  • You can have too much ****, not enough ****, the right ****, the wrong **** or a lot of weird ****.
  • You can carry ****, have a mountain of ****, or find yourself up **** creek without a paddle.
  • Sometimes everything you touch turns to **** but you can also fall in a pile of **** and come out smelling like a rose.
  • When you stop to consider all the facts, it is the basic building block of creation.
  • And remember, once you know your ****, you don't need to know anything else!
  • You could pass this along ... if you give a ****.
Now I know that it wouldn't be a positive experience if I didn't end my little rant without some personal frustrations...and I might just add a few things that make me happy so you don't think I am completely pessimistic.

I can't stand when:

There is jelly in the peanut butter jar because someone is too lazy to wipe off the knife...same goes for bread crumbs in the butter. Seriously?!!

People turn a corner going 5 miles an hour. Do you really think you are going to tip over? Turn the freaking corner!

People hoover around the cooktop when I am teaching a cooking class. Just because there is food doesn't mean it is meant for you. If you want it, pay to take the stinking class!

When people put away a carton of OJ with 1 oz left...or a box of cereal back with 1 tablespoon left. COME ON!!!! (A total kid thing)

People block the aisles at Costco waiting to get their food sample. Do you people ever stinking eat?

People think that Oprah and Dr. Phil are the source of spiritual enlightenment. Who has time to sit down for hours on end to watch that crap? I am feeling better already and didn't need their help at all.

People who think they are making the world a better place by going 10 miles per hour less than the speed limit....or people who pass and honk at you when you are going 7 miles over the speed limit. They are the ones who get stuck at the stoplight with you. Serves you right.

Parents who are think their kids is going to be the next MLB star, or any other professional athlete. Give it up. You sucked and so does your kid.

Okay, so now I am laughing and I feel better. Is that sad? Every person has their bad days, I am just not afraid to admit it! All better. Tomorrow I will post things that make me happy because I think it is okay to have one day where everything ****ten thing bothers you!


  1. Hahaha. I loved reading this. I know exactly how you feel. I feel the same about a lot of things you posted. Hope your venting made you feel better. :)

  2. Taxes bite. Luckily we're still poor enough to get a nice return!

    I agree with you about crumbs in my butter and jam in the peanut butter...drives me crazy!

  3. ok, I laughed too. And the same stupid thing happened to us last year when we payed taxes. I cried when I wrote the check...almost the size of our down payment on our house! And to top it all off, we had to pay quarterly taxes this past eyar or face penalty......ugh! This year was better, after they took all our money, at least we got some back.....I totally kow where you are coming from..

  4. LOL!! I love it! Im sure the things i would rant about would make people think im innactive and...well, just mean!! oh well, who cares!! good for you, whats the point of having a blog if you cant rant a little on it!!

  5. I LOVE that you utilized your blog platform to throw it out there. I really needed to write one like this last week. Perhaps I will give myself permission to do so the next time it comes around - cause it always comes around again, doesn't it?

    P.S. I see that you read Kite Runner. I just finished it a couple of weeks ago. I'm going to read The Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner for the book club I'm in. I finished the Girl Who Can Fly this morning and my new books won't be here till Friday. What am I gonna read in between? Take care Gin!

  6. Way to go Ginnie, I didn't know you had bad days!

  7. I think you're just posting this hoping that someone will pass it on to the bishop and you'll get released from your calling...