Saturday, January 7, 2012

You've got a friend in me

Taylor and I talk about a lot of things.  He is very inquisitive.  He always has quite a few questions to accompany our discussions whether it is about food, rules, games, people, television, responsibilities.  Anything really.

I have noticed lately that I have said something about friends to him more than a time or two.  He is twelve, and to him, friends are important.  Really important.  I don't remember feeling that way when I was twelve, but I sure remember feeling like that when I was 16, so I can only assume that this will be an ongoing conversation.

So how do I tell him friends don't matter?

Okay, before I completely offend any of you, let's talk about this.  Friendships matter, to a degree.  But in your life, as you mature, grow, learn, they fall leaves on a tree.  Seasons come and go, and for most of us, so do friends.  Especially the friends that we had growing up that were, at one time, such an important, dare I say critical, part of our lives.

Then we go to college, move away, get married, move away, have kids, move away.  Life is ever changing.  As such, friends are ever changing.

I tell him often that I rarely, with the exception of the invention of Facebook, hear from anyone I went to school with.  In fact, I think there is one person who I have heard from, and that has been limited as well.  A sympathy card or two, the annual Christmas picture.  Even now I have people who I consider friends, but they really don't play a role in my life every day.  In fact, we rarely DO things with friends.  We rarely (and when I mean rarely I mean one, maybe two times a year and it is usually by the same person) get invited to their homes, or have parties, or outings with them.  We try to invite people to our home for Sunday dinner, but that is the extent of it, and it is never reciprocated.  We don't invite people for parties, or outings either because we don't have them.  We are just busy, but we have the time.  Maybe not every weekend, but should make the time.

Life changes.  Friends change.

I try to tell him that he does have a friend.

I am his mother, and I love him.  I am his mother first, and a friend second.

There are days my children frustrate me beyond belief, and maybe I don't even like them, but I will love them forever.

But they can have a friend...forever.  God is their friend.  He can give them peace and comfort, He can also allow them to feel remorse and regret.  He can bring them happiness and joy.  He can also give them opportunities to understand sadness and frustration.  He can do that.  A friend cannot do all of those things. Only God can.

I want to teach my children this year develop a friendship with God.  They know He is there.  They know He is all knowing.  They know they have a relationship with him because they are children of God.  But they need to have a friendship with him too.  And I feel that if they can develop a friendship with God then they will have that one friend who truly stays with them forever.  And friendship is just the beginning.  Their friendship with Him will allow their relationship with Him will grow too.

Friends come and go, God is forever.  And they will always have a friend in Him.


  1. You're a good mom. We are already having this conversation and Spencer is 7. I wish you could just infuse their brains with our perspective on friendship. But, they have to experience life just as we did. Most of the lasting friendships I have now were made after I was married. JR/HS are filled with so much drama/manipulation...I shudder at the thought of my kids reaching that age!! Luckily I have a few years left. Meanwhile, keep blogging so I can learn from your experience!

  2. I read this when you posted and read it again after your comment on pinterest. Such a good thing to teach!!

    My girls already are showing how much they care about friends and what friends think and do. It's been the topic of many of the discussions we've had as a family and as a couple.

    Loved this post!